Tuesday, March 9, 2010


I don't wear a lot of make up. I apply just enough to allow me to look somewhat human and not the haggard monster I truly am when I wake up. A little foundation, powder, blush, lip gloss, and finally, mascara.
Faithfully, I purchase waterproof mascara hoping that by the end of the day I don't look like a racoon. It usually works unless I have a crazy allergy attack, and my eyes overflow like Niagra Falls. It's happened.
This morning, like every other morning, I applied my make up, went downstairs to make sure my kiddo had everything ready for school, and scooted into my mini van. The funniest freaking joke came on the radio about how kids are scared to go to bed because we pray the most frightening prayer known to man with them..."Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. And if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take..." Well, it was delivered with such sinister gumption, that I must have squeezed my eyes shut while laughing by butt off. Little did I know that my mascara wasn't dry. Bull crap, right? I had it on for at least ten minutes at that point.
Randomly, I pulled down the driver side mirror to do a once over as I'm driving to school and to my surprise, I see black polka dots like a henna tattoo underneath both of my eyes. Are you kidding me? Well, I'm already half way to school and running a little late, as usual. I couldn't turn around.
In a panic, I reach for the closest thing that could possibly erase this atrocity from underneath my eyes (not one eye, but both of them, by the way)...chapstick. So, here I am on Olio Road applying chapstick to my eyes, frantically attempting to wipe away the smudge that I was creating with my mess. Now I'm in full freak out mode as I get to the traffic light before school because I literally look like I've been drinking or playing football all night. I took one last glide with the chapstick and low and behold it finally came off.
My eyes are fully moisturized and SPFed this morning. If you notice a bit of a glow around my eyes, please don't ask me my beauty secret. Have a great day.
Love, me.

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