I wonder, I dream, I hope.
2013 is knocking on our door, and I'm thankful for all of the possibilities it could bring. I am so excited to get my new website up to be able to use it as a tool to connect more with God and others. I literally can't wait to promote it as a dialogue site, something interactive, where we can talk about this journey and how God is moving. I have learned through Young Life that the greatest conversations are the ones where I shut up and just listen. I want to hear you and pray for you, but most of all, I want you to hear each other and pray for one another.
I have had many conversations with people, especially over the past year, that has inspired me and challenged me. I want to encourage more of that. To be honest, there's so much useless chatter. What if we cut all the bull crap and talked about what mattered? What if we dreamed together and allow God to work in those conversations to do something more than having the perfect home or the perfect outfit or the perfect whatever. Because when it all comes down to it, there is nothing perfect other than our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It is in Him, with His compass that we find a way through this messy maze. I am also learning that my free will sometimes gets in the way and everyday I have more to surrender to Him. There are corners inside of my heart that need some serious cleaning out, and there are corners that I don't even know exist! I'm trusting everyday that He is leading me right where He needs me to clean out the gutters of my heart and to use that process and the gifts He's given me to do something that glorifies Him.
When we moved to Indianapolis six years ago, Steve and I thought our family "needed" certain things. We made certain decisions about what we thought we needed in order to be happy and settled as a family. Everyday I find myself more and more certain that we were reaching for the wrong dream, the American dream rather than God's dream. At the same time, I know God has not moved us out of this situation because He has more for us to learn and process, and for that, I'm grateful.
I know many would say that it's because of the American Dream that I even have the opportunity to dream of anything else. I get that, but I think I've realized that the things that I thought I needed are not the things that inspire me and stir my heart; they more or less make me feel like I'm on a hamster wheel. And yet it's hard to find a balance between not being a slave to your things and being a good steward of what God has given you. I'm praying to find God's perspective on where He wants me to be with that.
Anyway, here are some of the big things I'm praying for in 2013:
- My website, hopefully to launch on January 1! I'm literally giddy about these conversations and to see what comes from them.
- Going to Ethiopia this summer with Alex and friends. CAN'T WAIT!
- Hopefully selling our current home to move into something simpler. I know there is a family out there who needs this home a lot more than we do.
- Growing more with God and His ministry in Young Life. I LOVE these kids. They have become a part of my heart, and I'm so excited to take this journey with them!
- Trusting God more and more each day and being thankful for His grace.
Dream big, dream far.