Sunday, August 19, 2012

Multiple Personalities

I feel absolutely blessed to be an educator.  Every day is a gift, but there are times as a teacher that you feel a multitude of feelings.  The main season is the "heading back to school" season.  My husband literally gears up for it, knowing that he may find me giddy one moment and crying the next.  The range of emotions teeter from elation to utter despair.  Let me explain...
Going back to school means another year of funny kids, making a difference, a neat (although quite demanding) package of complete structure, seeing teacher friends, getting your hands dirty with great and worthy work.
On the other hand, going back to school means not hanging out with your kids, making a meal while trying to beat the clock, the end to the freedom of the summer schedule, goodbyes to vacations and camps, and not having a somewhat clean house on a daily basis.  This year hit me especially hard having Jesse home.  He's not in school, and although he is in the most loving and wonderful day care situation a woman could ask for, I don't get to see him as much.
Going back to school is refreshing for me, but it also makes me nervous...can I do it all?  I still don't have an answer to that.  Thankfully, God has provided a wonderful job for me to help our family financially, and I'm grateful for it.  The hard part is not waking up at 5 am for me; the hard part hits at 3:15 pm, when I'm butt tired from teaching, and my sweet children are waiting for their mama to care for them, help her with homework, play trains, cook dinner while holding him on my hip, solve dilemmas, discipline with love, bathe them, and put them to bed with stories and kisses...and then there's laundry to do.
I know so many of you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Bear with us teachers who are mamas and wives.  August is tough.  August is not only saying hello, but it's also saying goodbye.  We have the best jobs in the world, but it's a conundrum of emotions sometimes.  It's building up the stamina to do our busy days; it's building up new muscles.  It's praying that your kids and you don't actually get sick while you get back on your feet again because it would really be tough to schedule a doctor's appointment while you're trying to get your students back in the swing again too.  It's a lot of pressure, for sure.
I always say that I have multiple personalities every August.  I'm thankful for an understanding husband who hangs in there so sweetly through it all.  He knows what's coming every year, and although I try not to go there with my wisdom; it's still an emotional feat I haven't conquered yet, especially now, experiencing being a mama to a young one once again.
I pray for our kiddos who are not only our babies but also our students.  We want to do right by them.  We love them, and that's what it all comes down to.
Our tears may invade the spaghetti sauce a few times this month, but there's joy in the morning.  This I know.  This I know for sure.

No comments:

Post a Comment