Friday, January 28, 2011


"I pray because I can't help myself. I pray because I'm helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time- waking and sleeping. It doesn't change God- it changes me."
— C.S. Lewis

I have been spending a lot of time praying, just praying.  At Bible Study last week we spoke about different ways that we can remember our trials and how God brings us through, different than we were.  I got back into my journal writing, and I've been spending quiet time every day writing to God.  I'm talking to Him probably more significantly than I have in awhile because it's set aside, not flying by the seat of my pants in panic in the car or getting to a meeting, grasping for Him.  I'm preparing to sit down with Him, to get to know Him.  I even have my Bible next to me, and I'm looking for verses to guide me through my prayer.  I'm sure God doesn't mind in the least when I send up a quick prayer in transition to my next activity, but there's something about sitting down with going to meet a friend for coffee.  
I'm not looking for an outcome; I'm just walking a bit differently.  I'm afraid that I won't have the discipline to keep it up, but I have to keep sitting down  with Him and trying.  There are so many nuances to this relationship that I know that I have yet to experience.  I just want to take each day and sincerely reflect on that and what each day brings with Him because one thing I know for sure is that I don't want to do this without Him.