Monday, March 1, 2010


I am the definition of contradiction. Let me just name a few:
1. I'm a public school teacher who sends her child to private school.
Steve (my husband) and I met in Orlando, Florida, and I'm not trying to be a hater here, but the school system in Florida is not in the top half of the country; that's just a fact. Living in Florida, we realized that most people who live there are not from there. Ergo, it's very transient, and this naturally carries over to the public school system. If you want me to be totally frank, I think some of the best teachers I have known teach in Florida; they literally know how to work miracles in kids' lives who come and go like sand in an hour glass. When our daughter came along, we grew very comfortable with the fact that we would most likely send her to private school. Also, we're Christians, and we thought it would be awesome for her to get some extra Jesus in there, if you know what I mean; win-win. We moved to Indianapolis a few years ago and just continued on that path that we had planned for her down in Florida. We're taking all of this year by year.
2. I'm a public school teacher who chooses to teach public school.
I was offered the opportunity to teach in the school my daughter attends, and I turned it down in order to teach in the public system. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else. I'm crazy; I love all kinds of kids and literature. I'm especially enamored with young adult literature and progressive philosophies of education. I didn't grow up with a whole lot rules, and I know what it's like to not live in a safe world. I guess I bond with those kids who don't have a lot, worry about it, and are working their way through it. I don't think I'm gonna find those kids or methods in private school. Those kids don't fit into an expensive pair of jeans, cardigan sweater, and combed hair, nor should we educate them in such a way. Just a thought.
3. I love going to church, but I don't feel like I "fit in."
I just haven't found my place yet. I didn't grow up as a Christian and became a believer after college, so I don't feel totally comfortable with the inner workings of the social sphere of church. Going to a new small group reminds of an awkward Brownies meeting; I know this sounds horrible. I'm a very open person; what you see is what you get. I want to be able to trust people with the most sacred thing in my life, my faith. I don't always feel like that's ok. I don't have it all right, but that's a part of the journey, right? I loved my small group down in Florida, but honestly, I got to know those crazy ladies outside of church first, and boy, did those ladies hold me to Jesus! Perhaps that's the key; get into a small group w/ people who know me outside of church more than in church. I'll let you know how this goes. To be continued...
4. I am originally from New York and now live in the midwest.
In a big way, baby! I don't think anyone who grew up with me would think this would happen. I used to take the Long Island Railroad into the city by myself as a teenager. I still have a hint of a New York accent; especially when I'm mad (ask my husband). But I've got to say, I like the prairie. It's pretty. I do miss the ocean, big buildings, and subways, but this is pretty nice, and life could be a whole lot worse. I'm grateful.
5. P.S. I love Jesus.
I've already said this, but those who grew up with me are probably scratching their heads. My mom took us to church once a year, if we were lucky. My brother and I grew up in a liberal home with not a lot of rules or regulations. After college and after a lot of fruitless searches for the meaning of life, I found Jesus. He is my compass, my guide, and I am blessed beyond words because of Him. It is what it is.

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