I gotta tell you that today I am overwhelmed with emotion of how this stupid plantar fasciitis is cramping my style. I found myself crying like a baby, mouth in downward dog of a cry, when I came home from Jazzercise today. It is so freaking painful, and it's making me uncomfortable just being free (I'm typing this while intermittently rubbing Gold Bond Pain Relieving Analgesic)! I have stretched, iced, and received lovely foot massages daily from Steve, and straight up, this sucks.
I sound like a baby, I know I do, but I gotta tell ya, that I do know that God gave me this stupid thing for a reason. I pray to Him everyday about it. I have two things working against me right now:
a) I have always been very healthy and strong. Never a broken bone, nothing. I was built like an ox. The only time I ever had severe pain was when I was 13 and landed on my back trying to do a back handspring; this resulted in discovering my scoliosis (so much for the "back checks" in elementary gym class). I stopped growing, so it wasn't a big deal. Nevertheless, I think that I've discovered that I have some pride in naturally expecting my body to do what I need for it to do. On top of that, I made it a goal to work out everyday possible this summer. I look like I have issues in Jazzercise. For those who know me, I freaking love Jazzercise. It's my outlet, but not anymore.
b) I'm too busy for this crap. I have a lot of minutia to deal with on a daily basis, and that's not slowing down anytime soon. I have expectations to take care of, etc. and I can barely walk. I'm frustrated. I'm thinking, "why now?" School is starting back up in a few weeks, and I have a baby coming home in a few short months. As my mom would say, I don't have time for this sh**. I want to be occupied by these other wonderful things, not foot pain.
Anyway, here's what I know...this isn't going away right now. Although I have another doctor's appointment next week and will be begging for cortizone shots, this may take some time. I literally cried out to God this morning, feeling all of my humanness. I know He wants me to lean on Him more. I'm doing it; I don't have a choice. For the meantime, I exasperated by this. I know it sounds so menial, and in many cases it is, but I just needed some time to vent!
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