Adjustment

My goal today is to take a shower, actually try to do my hair, and put some type of make up on before I pick up Alex on her last day of camp.  This is in contrast to the homeless looking woman in running shorts driving the brown Honda Odyssey who has been picking her up this week.  I am so jealous of the moms who pick up their kids with hair in place, pristine eye shadow, and a mani/pedi to boot.  What the heck?  How do these moms find the time to use hairspray let alone sit in a massaging, leather chair while their feet soak for an hour once a week?  God Bless them.  I hope they don't look at me and wonder what's wrong with me... Oh well.
After eight years being out of the baby game, I'm back in, baby.  And let's be real, I think the "cocooning time" that we're taking right now is really for the moms.  My Jesse Getiso is a champ.  He's got this place down.  Me, I'm learning to juggle motherhood with two, keep my house somewhat picked up, and not let the dogs drive me up a wall.  I'm completely amazed when I walk into someone's house with four kids, and the house is in tip top shape.  How does this freaking happen?  I need a course.  Today, I vaccumed the house with Jesse in his sling after two shedding dogs and attempted to do the couches and mop the tile.  I didn't get to the upstairs.  I figure I can "hide" that if someone comes over.  Huh.
I scheduled pictures for Alex and Jesse for Tuesday.  I'm totally excited, but realized Alex didn't have one thing that to wear that didn't have a stain on it.  After Jesse and I picked up Alex, I thought we could make a "quick trip" to Old Navy to purchase a white shirt for Alex.  Well, my eight year old has an opinion now.  You could only imagine.  She says to me yesterday as we're walking out of the dressing room for the third time, "Mom, I feel like you always say, 'no' to everything I say."  This is what I get after four months of counseling with her after TJ passed; now she knows how to tell me how she feels.  Don't get me wrong, this is a FANTASTIC thing, but it's hard to have a deep conversation with her while your 21 pound infant is attached to you, pulling your hair and giving you kisses (which I DON'T want to discourage because it's so stinking cute!), you're holding five white shirts, which are all too big or too small, and your "quick trip" to Old Navy turned into an hour of carousing through the girls section which may or may not still fit your eight year old because she's almost as tall as you.  Whew.  We just had to get out of there.  I made an executive decision, told her to stop blowing in her brothers face because it was overwhelming even though he thinks it's funny, and paid the man.  I didn't even get to pick out anything for Jesse.
Ok, so it sounds like I'm complaining.  I don't intend for that.  I'm adjusting.  I'm learning the ropes.  My son is teething like a lion, I'm a little short on sleep because he hates solids and is up every three hours, and I'm discerning with my daughter which battles are really the important ones to fight.  We will be fine.  Thank God we have a lot of love in this house, and I have a husband who could care less if everything is spotless and doesn't mind Lean Cuisine.  My son is the most lovable person ever; he just loves to smile, laugh, and play; he's amazing.  And my daughter...well, she's gonna change the world; she has the biggest heart & more passion than any of us combined.  So, I'm certain we'll be ok.  I just don't think my house will be too clean or a gormet meal will make it on the table.  
Now, I gotta go.  My kiddo woke up, and I'm typing one handed now.  So, bye.

Food is My Friend

So, my husband sometimes refers to himself as the Baby Whisperer.  Ok.  In some situations, he's got a gift, I'm not gonna lie.  When it comes to food, I don't believe he has the whisper.
We started solids as soon as we got home from Ethiopia last week and soon found that our chunky boy is not too keen on eating them.  He will projectile spit them across the kitchen to show his absolute aversion for anything on a spoon.  He will literally spit anything from oatmeal to applesauce and then laugh.  Yes, it sounds like a game, doesn't it?
Steve decided to try one of his baby whisperer techniques this evening while sitting down to dinner:  just give him the spoon and the dish of food.  Steve called this particular baby technique, "Food is my friend."  His theory was that if he was able to play with his food he wouldn't feel the need to spit it across the dinner table.    Personally, I was not a supporter of this bright idea, but what could I say?  This is our second child; I don't feel the fear of "Oh my gosh, you can't do that!"  What resulted was exactly what I expected:  a big, freaking mess.
Ya know, it was worth the laugh.  It made dinner a bit more exciting.  The clean up was insane, but how could you not love that face?
We went back down memory lane with Alex and what a messy eater she was (and still is).  The difference with her is that she LOVED everything we put in front of her and still does.  So, we may have a picky eater on our hands.  He won't be the only child who's not particularly fond of spinach and peas.  It's all good.
I just love my babies so much and love their funny similarities and differences.  It's wonderful to have two kiddos at the dinner table to talk and laugh with.  I can't wait for more moments like these.  What a blessing!

Momma's Boy

Being a mommy has its perks.  Tonight was definitely one of those defining moments.  I met a few of my pals at the Fort Grille for cheesecake this evening.  I dutifully left Steve with Jesse's set up:  towel in place for after his bath, lotion ready, pjs laid out, bottle made and ready to go.  Since Jesse Getiso has been home, we've definitely fallen into a routine at night:
5pm: dinner
5:30-6:15:  play
6:30: bath
7pm:  bottle and bed

It's been like clockwork.  Our little guy dutifully falls asleep while drinking his bottle and curls up in his crib, no questions asked.  Tonight, I walked into the house at 8:25 pretty much expecting my boy to be out like a light and Alex getting ready for bed.  Uh, nope.
I came in through the garage, entered the living room with Alex drinking a huge glass of Diet Coke (yes, caffeinated), and Steve sprawled on the floor with Jesse's toys all over the place with Jesse sitting straight up watching Nickelodeon.
Apparently I missed the text, while I was laughing like a hyena with my friends over yummy cheesecake for a stolen hour, that stated:  Jesse pooped so far up his back that it's in his hair.  Whoops.
Anyway, I enter the living room, see the madness that erupted, and say, "Jesse Getiso."  My handsome boy looks up at me, literally claps his hands once (as if saying, "finally!), and lifts his arms up to me.  I picked up my beautiful bundle and within 60 seconds of debriefing with Steve, he falls asleep in my arms.
Steve looked at him and said, "he was definitely waiting for you."
I love my little man so much.
On the other side, my Alex was up last night vomiting while Jesse decided to have a two hour play time at 2 am. Juggling that was a new experience on many levels, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Alex, thankfully yet humorously, woke up this morning wanting a chocolate muffin.  It's crazy how kids bounce back from things like an all night vomiting stint.
Jesse had his first doctor's visit today, and he weighed and measured in the 85th percentile; how's that for representin' Ethiopia?!!!!  It goes to show how much love and care he received at Hannah's Hope.  I'm so thankful!  We're still working on his ear infection, but the doctor said he looked healthy and on target developmentally.  Yay!!!
Again, my gratitude to God is more than words can say.  As my baby boy snoozes in his crib and my daughter attempts to negotiate one more show before she has to go to bed against her wishes, I am SO thankful to be this mommy to my beautiful children.  Amen.

Home Sweet Home

We have been home for four days now; four blissful days.  I cannot tell you how wonderful it feels to have both of my kiddos together, in one place, finally.  Jesse Getiso Craig has been an absolute dream boat.  He smiles, laughs, eats, sleeps; he's even on a schedule.  I remember one of my sleepless nights in Ethiopia last week stressing about Jesse's days and nights being flipped when we got back to the states...not my man!
Alex is the best big sister, and Jesse can't get enough of her!  She loves to hold him, watch him, play with him, and he thinks she's the best think ever.  Unfortunately, Alex came down with some kind of stomach flu this evening, and I'm praying that I didn't bring something back from Africa to make her ill.  She's sleeping now, and I hope she wakes up as her spunky self.
I wish I had more to say, but I feel like I'm floating on cloud nine; I'm so grateful to be here, right now.  I'm just so incredibly grateful to all of our friends and family who have surrounded us with love and prayers through these two years to bring home our boy.  I'm grateful for our Alex, who through thick and thin, has stuck with us.  I'm thankful for the friends who have called me since we've been home to see if Alex would like to hang out, so she's not too bored cocooning!
Father God,
I can't help but to rejoice and be grateful for all of You've done.  We are celebrating and giving You all of the glory.  These past two years have been quite a ride, and I know that You were guiding us every step of the way.  Thank You.  Please bless my children and help Steve and I to be the best parents for them.  Help us to be humble, to listen for Your Spirit, and love as Your Son loves us.  Help us to be good friends as our friends have been for us.  Lord, please be with our new friends who traveled with us to Ethiopia to bring our children home.  Please be with the children and families who are not yet united and those who are newly united, forming those amazing bonds.  Thank You, Lord, for places like Hannah's Hope, who has loved my baby and so many others until I got there; they are angels, Lord and please continue to bless their ministry in the face of so much adversity.  You are amazing, Lord.  Thank You, thank You, thank You.
In Jesus' name I pray.

Amen

Can't Sleep

So, I'm officially excited out of my mind.  One would know this because of two things:  1.  I can't sleep (Ergo, the post in the middle of the night.)  2.  I'm not hungry.  These are two of my most favorite things:  sleeping and eating.  Well, not today!
We received word that we're cleared for travel through the US Embassy in Addis Ababa and will be leaving on Saturday, Sunday, or Monday to bring home our little boy.  Oh my goodness!!!!!!!!  I finished up my last meeting at school yesterday and was ready to roll!  I have shopping lists, much to Steve's chagrin, and packing lists, etc...  I have a mountain of laundry to conquer, clothes to pack for Ms. Alex, schedules and phone numbers to gather for her, etc...  I've never been happier to have so much to do!
I'm thrilled to be communicating with the nine other families from our first trip, and we're all praying to be together again a world away as one big happy family again, this time with our babies in our arms for good!  It's obvious to me that God intended for Steve and I to be with these families on this leg of our journey. (By the way, guys, we need a nickname or something; we'll work on this!)
Alex is creating clay letters for Jesse's room, much like the ones she received to match her Winnie the Pooh themed room when she was a baby.  She's colored signs welcoming him home and is excited about running errands with me this week...Wow!  I love her so much!
My amazing (and I do mean amazing) in laws are ready once again with utter joy to care for Alex for another week.  By the way, have you met my in laws?  Have I mentioned how amazing they are!  I love them dearly!
Plane itineraries are ready to book as soon as we hear word on our Embassy Day exactly.  It has all come together, and I am nothing short of humbled.
I wish there was more that I could do to show my appreciation for everyone who has been on this ride with us.  I hope you all know how grateful I am for each and every one of you.  Our family is so blessed.
Father God,
Thank You for all of this.  Thank You for the celebration of this moment and the sleepless nights!  Thank You for all of the friends and family whom You've surrounded us with.  Thank You for Your Sovereignty.   You have taught me to trust and listen more deeply than I ever did.  Forgive me where I've messed up because there have been moments where my emotions certainly got the best of me, but You have always been right there with grace.  I'm in awe.  Bless our family: Steve, Alex, and Jesse, and many others.  Bless our friends.  I humbly pray this in Jesus' name.  Amen.

Don't be mad!

I cannot tell you how excited Steve, Alex, and I are to bring home our Jesse Getiso along with all of you, our friends and family, which we couldn't have done without you.  Steve and I have been discussing attachment and bonding A LOT.  We have been highly encouraged by both our agency and friends who have adopted to seriously take three months and "cocoon."
What does this mean?  Well, it means that we will be lying low for awhile to give Jesse and us time to simply be a family and for him to learn who his mommy and daddy are.  Along with this, we've been advised that the only people who should hold him for this time period is Steve, Alex, and I, so he gets used to who his immediate family is.  Steve and I are the only ones who will be feeding and bathing him as well.
I know this may sound extreme to some, and I'm so sorry.  Steve and I love you guys so much, but we have one shot to do this right.  We love this little boy so much that we don't want to confuse him; we want to take this time to be the mommy and daddy that he needs.  He has lived in three different places, with three different sets of people in his short little life so far.  We will be his fourth and final, and it's so important to us that we have this time with him to attach to us as his mommy and daddy.
Now don't get me wrong, it's not like we won't be out and about.  We all know what a busy, busy girl we have!  I just wanted you to know that if Jesse is with me, he'll be in my arms, and he'll stay there during our first few months home, and I mean that with all the love in my heart.  We would love visitors, but again, Jesse will be close to Steve, Alex, and I.
Everyone knows that I HATE to be a "Debbie Downer."  I just wanted you to know how it's gonna roll.  This little boy, along with Alex, is priority.  I know you all would understand.  I just wanted to be able to communicate that with you.  Please know how much we love you as friends and family!
On another note, I have to tell you all that my husband is my hero.  He has been my rock, especially since we got home from Ethiopia.  We are both in "nesting" mode, but he is doing so much for me.  I love you, honey.  You are the bomb!
Happy Memorial Day, friends!  Enjoy!

love love love love...

I am so blessed.  I don't know what else to say but that.  We've been home from Addis for about 48 hours, and although I'm still exhausted and my stomach isn't quite right and I break into tears every now and then because I miss my baby boy... I overall feel this overwhelming sense of love and gratefulness.
When I felt this call on my heart that my child was in Ethiopia over four years ago, I can still recall the fearlessness and joy that charged me; I can only say that it was undeniably the Holy Spirit.  Two years following that, after our move to Indianapolis, God worked on Steve's heart too, and now two years following that:  here we are.
Jesse Getiso is the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on, aside from our Alex.  He is my boy, and there's no denying that.  Ethiopia has a special place in my heart on many levels; right now, my baby boy is still there, and I know soon we'll be going back, but the time couldn't be sooner.  This morning I woke up, and in my heart, I could hear him cooing down the hall.
Our arduous trip to Ethiopia was an absolute adventure and more than that, it was one I will never forget.  Landing in Addis, Steve and I were overwhelmed with the sight of poverty.  We landed on a Sunday morning, and it looked as if everyone, including horses, goats, and cows, were just doing a walkabout if you will; I had so much to wrap my mind around.  As soon as we arrived at our hotel, we literally crashed on our bed (I have the plum sized bruise on my thigh to show) and slept until lunch time.  We were greeted by nine other couples in the lobby who I would now call wonderful friends.  They offered to take pictures for us as we boarded the bus to go meet Getiso for the very first time at Hannah's Hope.
Seeing the gate, which I heard so much about, at Hannah's Hope seemed like a significant milestone in our journey; we had finally arrived in person and were walking through to embrace this new life!  We were led into the baby house, amidst Kim and Truitt's little girl, Lea, yelling "mommy, daddy!" running into their arms; I am blessed enough to have this image in a picture someone caught!  We entered and Getiso and I laid wide eyes on one another as he lay in his bouncy seat.  The tears just started rolling down my cheeks as I picked him up and loved on him.  As I passed him to Steve, we were beaming with smiles and couldn't get enough of him.  It was nothing short of magical; one of those moments you just want to bottle up.
Our experience at Hannah's Hope was amazing.  We had heard how wonderful the special mothers and the staff were there, but to see it in person is quite another experience.  They LOVE those children so much.  You can see it in their smiles, hugs, and words as they feed, play, nurture, and care for these beautiful souls.  I have never been more grateful for a group of people in my entire life.  Throughout the week, I had the opportunity to get to know some of these women, and although some of their stories are tragic, they endure with grace and thankfulness.  They love being at Hannah's Hope, and I think it's because it represents just that:  hope and most of all, love.  Everyone there knew all of the children by name and greeted them with hugs.  I feel as if we have an extended family a world away, because anyone who can pour that much into my child, let alone all of those beautiful children, is my hero.

In this journey, I approached Wass (our driver) and Tsige (our coordinator) about TJ.  Without a beat, they said they knew that we were his family and allowed us the opportunity to see his resting place, here on earth.  Wass took us, with TJ's special mother who made the burial arrangements, to the cemetery in Addis the following day.  On first sight of the cemetery, the tears began to spill.  TJ's special mother held her hand drawn map of where in the cemetery he was laid; she had not forgotten where he was.  The cemetery could only be described in the pictures we took; nothing like what we would imagine.  We hiked through plots that had been used over and over again, which made it quite unnerving.  I was so afraid of disrespecting this hallow ground as I negotiated each step in the rubble.  Finally, Wass and the special mother brought me to a 2 foot pile of dirt; it was clear that my baby's body lay there, although no stone marked his spot.  She and I immediately knelt down, our hands in the dirt and cried for our little boy.  Saying goodbye again...  Praying...  mourning...  It all came up again, the memory of devastation that our little boy, TJ Sidrak, would not walk the halls of our home or sleep in my arms, but rather with Jesus.  Although grateful he is with Him, still difficult as we are here and missing him still.  TJ's special mother and I held each other in our tears, and Steve caught a picture of us, eyes red, as she waves goodbye.  I'm thankful to have had this moment.
The rest of our time was spent laughing, loving, and hugging with our boy!  We passed court on Wednesday, and I have never been more nervous in my life!  The three other families and us burst into tears when she said that the children were ours.
We said our goodbyes that day too.  Right before we had to leave Jesse, he was giving me kisses.  I will never forget that.  I long for that beautiful boy to be in my arms again.  We cried again, and I had fits of tears intermittently during our long flight home.
I had a moment with Steve in the Heathrow Airport as we looked at trinkets to bring home to Alex, whom we missed more than ever!  We were negotiating gifts to purchase for both of our children:  Jesse Getiso and Alex.  I never felt such an overwhelming sense of joy when I uttered that, and again, began to cry...
My tears are all over Addis; some from sadness, but many from complete joy!  Thank You, Father God, for this.  Thank You for MY CHILDREN!  I am humbled and grateful to be their mommy.  Bring home our boy sooner than soon.  You know how my heart aches.  I love you.  Thank You for your sovereignty and bringing me closer to You through every tear.  In Jesus' name I pray.  Amen.